What is in a Name?
Wild (adj.) ~ Uncivilized or barbarous, chaotic, violent, gone haywire.
Wild (adj.) ~ Living in a state of nature; not tamed or domesticated, free.
Flower (noun) ~ The colorful blossom of a plant.
Flower (noun) ~ Someone who flows.
Fire (noun) ~ A state, process, or instance of combustion in which fuel or other material is ignited and combined with oxygen, giving off light, heat, and flame.
Fire (noun) ~ A metaphor for living Spirit.
Wildflowerfire (noun) ~ The living spirit that awakens in individuals who have been domesticated and are praying and practicing to reclaim their true nature.
Wildflowerfire (noun) ~ The holistic modality that guides people to heal and channel their wild awakening spirit and reclaim their true nature.
The name Wildflowerfire arrived. It wasn’t purposeful or thoughtful. It just seemed right. I was extremely excited about it for a while. Over time I began to pull it apart and recognize the various levels of meaning. It continues to surprise.
Ten years ago, I was running wild. Living on an edge I barely believed I could inhabit. I was sleeping in forests, bathing in streams, fasting, doing Yoga by the side of the road.while waiting for rides to destinations spirit alone defined. My mind cleared of media and pop culture. My expectations dissolved. My heart took over.
I found myself remembering things I’d learned years before, and forgotten. Mediations and lessons from books. The memories spoke in waves and flashes of inspiration. My past had cast rays of imagination, prayers reaching into now. I had not been able to stay with them, then. Now, I was burning with their re-awakening.
I thought of Thoth. The Egyptian God. The Ancient divine guide and gardner of humanity. I’d read information he taught in a book, the Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life. Channeled by a man, Drunvalo Melchizedek, who described learning to talk with him. This channelling taught me about the 12 Chakra system. I’d never been fully able to trust the process, despite how deeply fascinated I was by it. I finally decided I would learn to talk to him myself.
Now look, we may depart at this point. So, goodbye.
To the ancient Egyptians and Greeks, Thoth, Hermes, was known to live in the inbetween spaces of the Astral plane. If you reached to him with enough commitment, he’d tutor you in deepening consciousness. Tune in to him, shift your awareness and he’ll begin to tutor you too. This was once considered normal. We, humanity, simply forgot.
I don’t remember the entire sequence, I only remember the light coming straight down. I’d learned about Kundalini releases, where the base of the spine opens and spirit Rises into the body. By that point in my path I had experienced several significant Kundalini releases. The ensuing transformations launched me on a wild holistic journey. This fire from above was something very new. A lightning bolt of soul cutting into me from above and dissolving my ability to feel energy as I’d known it.
I went to walk, numb, something stuck in stillness. I couldn’t feel. My instincts were all wrong. There was a void where there had been presence. I was terrified. I couldn’t breathe. It felt like death.
A still small voice was hopeful.
Then, returning to my breath, I attempted to apply the knowledge that had been channelled from Thoth. I felt his presence. My feet and crown regained sensation all in black and white. Then feeling moved up my legs to my root. 12 centers came into focus. I was getting ripped apart. I was barely clinging to ephemeral strands of new vibrations. Gradually I began to sense more shades and depths. The chakras as I’d known them were gone. A totally new relationship was coming to life.
For me, this was a painful and challenging transition. I have many reasons to believe it doesn’t need to be so confusing for you. First of all, I was heavily invested in the popular new age seven chakra system. I thought and felt with them every day, for years. Losing that relationship was traumatizing. More importantly, I didn’t know how to stabilize myself. I didn’t know what I could trust, or what steps I could take to focus and calm the transition. The exact source that held the answers I needed, was ripping me apart. I didn’t trust it, yet.
Now I do. I can teach you.
Over the course of the next months I learned to speak with Thoth. Its more like thinking with, really. At first I remember being woken in the middle of the night to be taught lessons in the crystal clarity of the darkness, absent of other thoughts. With time it became easier. I stayed with him for at least half a year, as I wrote down what I was learning. During this time, I began using the name Wildflowerfire.
And then I set it all aside. I didn’t let go of the knowledge, my enthusiasm dampened and I began giving myself too much credit for discovering it all, by doubting my source. Perhaps it was all in my head? Nonetheless, it worked so I kept using the system and exploring.
I don’t remember exactly what caused me to stop talking with him, but I do remember terrifying windows into what I saw as his reality, and a nasty sense of doubt that began to attack my insight. This actually was past my edge. This was too frightening to continue exploring. For a while.
Many years later he came back to me. He returned with the same daunting visits that I remembered and feared. Yet they were also enthralling. Somehow it wasn’t as frightening anymore. I’d faced many fears in the time between. There was less in the way of seeing him. It was easier to recognize my own projections and the beauty that awaited my trust.
He began teaching me again. Simple and clear lessons. Dancing between memories, deep painful and beautiful memories, from early in my path. Reminding me that I know him from long before this lifetime. Helping me cope with the dissolution of ‘normal’. He’d been teaching me in this lifetime before I knew, before I remembered, who he is. I agreed before I was born..
Now the new knowledge. It was always more interesting than anything else I had to think about. The lessons usually had clear boundaries. A piercing vibration entering my consciousness, beginning and ending in a way that helped me understand my own limits.
Don’t take on too much at once. You may be able to handle more than you think you can. Both are true.
Over time I learned to take care of people with this emerging knowledge. Repeatedly, my insight and abilities were deep blessings. So I kept going.
I began to teach courses, helping people learn over time. As my commitment deepened, the knowledge came together with more fierce strength and clarity. I can stand upon it and gaze even further.
During this time I refrained from reading much. My journey had begun with many books, but as I learned with this more direct divine connection, books seemed to live in a different world.
As I continued to grow, a nagging doubt in the name returned. Some people just didn’t think it rang right. Others thought it was ‘too out there’. I carried enough doubt to hesitate to stand behind the word(s) and yet I couldn’t seem to change it. I kept the name, but I didn’t say it with pride or joy.
A month ago, Thoth showed up amidst the chaos of my mind. His thoughts rang through the unhappy turmoil. He suggested with a smirk (yes, he does that) that I lacked clarity because I wasn’t being clear. I was trying to learn from everyone and listening in too many ways. He offered to stay as my primary teacher on a daily basis. He pointed out that he’d never offered to do this before. I gulped, and accepted.
My phone’s automatic clock promptly changed itself to Cairo time, the same zone as the Pyramids and the Sphinx.
Then, a week ago something else changed. Google suggested that I listen to a book on tape, a reading of the ‘Emerald Tablets of Thoth’. I knew this work existed, yet I’d guarded myself against getting lost in texts that would distract me from the knowledge I accesse within. The Emerald Tablets have been inherited as a translation to Arabic from the 700’s A.D. Like many ancient texts, the originals are unknown. They are written by ‘Thoth the Atlantean’ and teach about the origins of humanity and how to manage living in a body and awakening the fire within.
Halfway through the written text, he refers to us as flowers of fire.
A chill came over me. I didn’t know what to do with this at first. A slow and deep shift began within. My greatest doubt is becoming my greatest affirmation. For so many years, trust and doubt have coexisted within me.This more tangible connection to the wisdom I’ve been learning is a deeply healing affirmation. The name is ancient. The understanding is from the same source that I speak to within the silences. The knowledge both confirms and complements what I have been learning.
As the fire of spirit awakens within, it flows through the body, wildly alive. Heeling the fire mirrors the healing we must engage within our culture. Cease dominating and abusing natural will and instincts. Restore trust in the creature within you. Restore and reclaim the living, vivid, normal daily presence of divine guidance. Embrace the wildness of your natural power and wisdom. Transcend fears of chaos.
Embody the Wildflowerfire.