A Conversation with Thoth

Thoth. Why are you doing it this way?

Me. What do you mean ‘doing it this way’?


Thoth. You are not asking other people. You are asking me. And you are showing them how you think and feel.


Me. Well, I’ve tried translating what you teach me, and removing the dialogue. I don’t feel like it is going deep enough. I want people to see the process, so they have better access to the knowledge. And I enjoy it. It is exciting. And I’ve been doing it kind of like this, with less discipline, so writing this way…

Thoth. You are misguided to believe you could have shared this conversation already. It wasn’t up to you. You weren’t really ready. You’ve been following the rhythms that work, mostly. If you hadn’t done it this way, you would not have been able to stay stable in your mind. You had to learn to transcend polarity. More than you understand, you’ve been moving in geometric patterns. We are Angels. We hold Angles. Its funny.


(I’m thinking about the language stuff now.)

Thoth. Yes, I’m going to explain it. First of all, let go of your youth.


Me. Do you mean let go of how I identify with being young in this life? Or let go of this life altogether? (I’m getting the wordless answer… to stop identifying with this life as my primary identify. To experience myself as the one who chose to live this life.)


Thoth. It is easy. It is fun. It was a story. You lived it. Let go, for a while. Understand it like a very deep immersion. It is painful to feel you’ve been lied to, so I’d like to introduce this from a shifted perspective. You CHOSE to be lied to. You chose to believe in something  that is essentially outside the universe. Really. The entire existence you know as ‘real’ is a sojourn. You need to appreciate that deeply, to make sense of it all. Within this sojourn, you’ve been willing to hold the ‘real’. The ‘reel’. It’s like a walk through a linear time, that mimics the movie projector. ‘Really’ the movie projector mimics the ‘Real’. You’ll learn to recognize more of these puns, jokes, kind ways to teach that are built in to this human life.


It is a stream, a path, one frame after another. You were able to gaze through the overview before you incarnated, so you knew – a lot – about what you were getting yourself into. You also knew you’d have an alternate truth reinforced, constantly. This was a choice. It was designed entirely to keep you focused on the path of this life. Forget the rest. Forget the universe. Be here. It isn’t a lie, because you chose to believe it. You lay down, to sleep. Now, it is time to REawaken.

People do begin to learn these truths, and then misunderstand. They stay grounded in the reality of your birth, and garble the truth. They feel the oversight of this life as a conspiracy. They misattribute who is in control to nefarious groups of hyper powerful humans. All manner of confusion erupts. The truth is, you know, deep within you, where you are and what you are doing.


I am asking you to help remind others of this truth. I am asking you to help me help people awaken.

The resistance is real and imagined. The resistance truly is more akin to refusing to wake up out of bed, than a concentrated conscious refusal to embrace life. I am asking you not to fight with people who resist. Recognize them as they are. Step around them, and speak to them when they are ready to emerge from the lie. They are lying down. They are asleep.Be compassionate, no one enjoys being shaken awake. Leave that… to us.

English existed well before human evolution. The entire arc of human history existed before you were born. It is a reel. It is a path. It isn’t something that can be broken or changed substantially from within the journey. Imagine picking yourself up by the bootstraps, you can’t. From our ‘angel’ it is obvious which elements of life, of your lives, are the path, and which are of your creation within this life. Loosen your struggle enough to see these distinctions, and they will become clear.


The experience becomes more confusing than empowering when you hold the turns in time as if they are avoidable. They aren’t. Indeed many of the major events in your world are strategic. We know exactly when they come. For some, this takes the fun out of it. As if a lack of accountability results. Free will vs. destiny. Yet…

Where will you be? What will you participate in? YOU have much more free will than the timeline you are in


(I just got another ‘thought ball’ like a whole lot of information at once, partly visual)

Thoth: You explain it.

Me. Okay, so I just saw that there are actually bifurcations, in which large groups of humans can make choices to go in different timeline paths, together. Indeed that is the purpose of life, to offer a crossroads. To give people a chance to work through certain possibilities and then progress with others who make similar or related choices. I see the Earth more like a sandbox full of legos. It is much easier than I’d have thought to create a whole timeline, even for hundreds of years, and then shake it up and start over.

Thoth. Exactly. Really Exactly. That is what you need to recognize. Stop balking at the words, this is partly from your own vocabulary. I draw from what flows through you. Be at peace with it.

(I was resisting that ‘he’ uses the word ‘exactly’, just like Brigid did.


Thoth: Give up. Give in. keep going. We’ll keep urging you, it isn’t problematic for us that you resist, yet it does benefit you to learn to transcend it.

The time you are in is full of some of the greatest potentials. To bring together so many different vibrations in the same world, capable of interacting and clashing, collaborating and teaching each other, is a rare and magnificent time. Truly, It is far more attractive to avoid conflict in existence.


Normally, within the consciousness of your eternal soul, it is easy. Outside specific choices to incarnate within a world of leverage and breadth, beings actually do not conflict much. All clashing is relegated to arbitration, so to speak. It is actively reserved for incarnations of the manner you are within now. This allows for grace and love and compassion to be constant, completely trustworthy companions. To recognize this entirely normal consciousness, you must spend time pondering and attuning to these basic tenants of normalcy. Tune yourself.


It is more rare than you suppose, to fight. You have to push yourself to do so, and as has been explained to you, it is a crucial part of existence to do this intentionally, within incarnations that script the basic elements of the engagements. It composts your waste. It creates a chance to shock your system and shake your core. It creates the opportunity to change, And it generates the soil of unique and beautiful sharing that cannot be experienced without the shared commitment to a series of incarnations. You have yet to live this beauty. You must learn to anticipate it, in order to awaken into…

The surrender in this is deep. You let go of your conscious awareness of your soul – that part of you that remembers incarnations before this one, and including time on other planets. Plan-ets, get it?


It is overwhelming to keep too much knowledge present. So you chose to forget. Yet the surrender in this is profound. Who are you without your access to choices? Who will you become? What kinds of choices will you make?

You for instance, have taken profound changes into your heart within this lifetime. You’ve refused multiple opportunities to thrive. You’ve refused too much in my opinion .You are still saying no in a manner that damages you. Yet it has been your will to do so. You’ve rejected your soul. You’ve blocked it repeatedly, and with good reason. You don’t appreciate the pressure – you put on yourself – from your soul. You are forging your own way, and this is exactly why it is a deeply respected surrender to enter a mortal lifetime.

Now, be aware, you have scripted much of it. You did this. Yes, I helped. I make profound suggestions, frequently about when and how you should remind yourself of what you’ve done. It isn’t vague, I believe you have remembered too much to remain in limbo.

I am also suggesting you limit your wandering, more. It is fun. It is engaging. It does change you too much. The act of attuning to a different angel fundamentally alters your mind. You lose focus dramatically. You start to feel the multiple vibrant perspectives on your choices. Too much to make sense of life. Go. Rest. Think on this. Return tonight.



Two Days Later…

Thoth. I want you to learn more about why you die.

Not to your human self, to your soul. Why do you need to start over?

Understand I am not directly referring to the death of the body your consciousness currently inhabits. From a universal perspective, the greater death happened when you chose to incarnate on Earth. You died, when you chose to be human. Your eternal, universal self, dies, when it is born.


It isn’t quite as simple as ‘your mind gets full’, or ‘you want a new chance to create yourself’. Those things are true, however there are other mechanisms for dealing with these challenges individually. You die, because it is important  to come from a place of not knowing, not being aware, in order to transform.

It is also the only way to make certain shifts in perspective. For this to make sense, you need to understand the nature of time more completely.

I want you to contemplate time in a non-linear form, that is linear only as a derivative. A derivative is something that is an order of magnitude less complicated than whatever it is derived from. It also can have a derivative of its own, a further order of magnitude simpler. Thus the derivative of x cubed, is x squared, and the derivative of x squared is x. The derivative of your soul, is your spirit incarnating on Earth. The derivative of your spirit’s incarnation is a single human life. The derivative of a life, is a story you write within the life that can become a movie.

(This is not what I want to be learning. I’m annoyed)

You comprehend time as if it is the foundation of your experience. Rather, it is the elevated roadway, that skips over, and past vast ranges of conscious engagement. The ‘Real’ reality is the landscape. Time is simply one path through it.

Make no mistake it matters which path you chose. To determine how to make these choices, you have to do something that you don’t do. We do it for you ,and it is ‘time’ you learn more about how and why. You need to make more intentional choices to work through your karma without resenting the need to do so. It is time you learn to treat every single karmic engagement as an opportunity. No matter how difficult. No matter how sad or painful. It is this perspective, and this perspective alone that will save you from cycles of confusion.

Your relationships exist. They are non linear, yet they are cumulative. Essentially, the more you engage and share with someone, the wider the range of your experience – and potential – becomes. Yet it would be more appropriate to see this as a growing garden in a field, that adds bits on one side ,and then digs out mounds on the other, and then adds a trench with water on yet a third side, all while weeding possibilities that were once perceived as desirable, only later to become weeds. The order in which these things occurs is relevant, yet it is NOT primarily important. It is one factor among many.

Just as relevant, is how often have you been blue together, and how often have you been yellow? Have you learned to dance in the fire together, and do you even intend to? Can you engage as fire and water, without destroying each other’s equilibrium? All these challenges are analogies for the factors that drive the scripts of your life. How do you relate within each of these different vibrations? What events can you share, that will enable you to learn together?

The reason linearity is less important than you may presume, is that from the perspective of a mind grounded in gratitude and joy, OF COURSE anything that does not make both people in a relationship fulfilled, will not be repeated. Your relationships between souls are far more expansive, and thus you get to live within the trust that you will always yearn to learn how to love each other more effectively. It is obvious to your soul.

And because time is non-(less) ordinal, you don’t have to feel desperate about losing chances and opportunities to share, because you can essentially take a side journey that doesn’t diminish or take away from any other opportunities in your existence. It is a vastly different experience than living in a human body as you know it.

I say it this way, because you actually CAN live in a human body, in a far more non-linear existence. It is an opportunity. It is a reality free from the terror of time as you know it. It is a life existence free from the kinds of fear and pain you know.

Why is it even possible to feel these things you may ask?

Well you’ve received the answers. Now let us put them in context. You have to live as if your soul is in space. Live, as if dancing amidst eternal light is normal. To understand THIS you need to take an even deeper step back.

Light and Dark, as you know them, exist between certain frequencies of waves of energy. Your eyes see between infrared and ultraviolet. When there is an absence of light in between this spectrum, you can’t see.

Understand, to us you are essentially playing a gigantic game of peek a boo. Really. Its funny. ‘I can’t see you, so you aren’t real’. Really. That is what you are doing in this life. Part of this game is the blanket that covers your awareness.

Now to get this straight in your mind is pointless, the full comprehension of existence is a rather large subject and it is almost impossible to avoid wandering in multiple directions of wonder (wondering…!). Simply hold this. Imagine that the universe is covered in light There is no such thing as ‘not’ light. You can ‘see’ everywhere that is. Its one giant ocean.

Now, add texture. Intersperse stars throughout this ocean. The stars are motion. That is the primary distinction. Not light and dark, but motion and stillness. Close to a star everything is stirred up, moving. Away from a star, which you might think of as in between stars, but I don’t… is still. Stillness is great. Motion is great. Yet your eternal soul ‘sees’ with eyes that are unaffected by stillness and motion.

Okay, now zoom in to you. In a body, composed of the stuff of the planet you are on. Your body is designed to see a tight narrow range of light. Everything below and above these frequencies is not visible to you.

Voila! That is why you die. So you can do this. If you still saw everything, you’d be unable to experience what you are doing. By choosing to die to your eternal self for a while, and live as a series of human lives, you receive the gifts of your choice. You get a narrow tight experience that is entirely out of tune with your greater existence. It is ‘out of tune’ intentionally, so you can focus on it. Ponder on this. Really, be ON it in your mind. You’ll learn to know why that phrasing matters.

This thought is the canvass,. It is the start. It is the base beat. A certain set of perceptual frequencies and senses associated with them. Hearing, seeing, tasting, feeling, THINKING, all these senses exist in relation to the specific experiences of being human. Because it is unique, and because you agreed to be born here as a baby, yes, playing peek a boo with the universe… you GET to experience life vividly, here.

Is it all about the experiencing? You might ask. NO. In fact the experiencing can almost be considered the movie on the plane, made to entertain you while you travel from here, to there.


This is the stunning revelation to your mind. You are not where you want to be, at all. That is why it is so unpleasant. It isn’t something you need to change. You are deep within a compost pile, and your living is tasked with sorting through vibrations, balancing them, grounding them, grinding them, and turning them into soil.

Days Later…

Me. I’ve been pouring through these ideas, and can’t quite grasp it yet.

Thoth. That is because you are trapped in between more knowledge than you are used to, and not enough to let go of where you were. Its funny. Stay with that.

I want you to begin with this new metaphor. Then I want you to get where this goes. Time, as you know it, is like a raised road that winds through gardens. Now all metaphors are imperfect, so don’t get carried away with it. I simply want you to approach this whole morass from a different perspective. Time is real. Like a reel of film. The film itself draws on lots and lots of footage. ‘Foot-age’. Ponder it with a small. Imagine walking around the garden of your existence on Earth. It is composed of all lifetimes you have lived here – during this sequence of lifetimes on Earth (This is important. I get it now, I urge you to ponder it. Some beings incarnate on Earth only for one lifetime. Some beings incarnate on Earth once, for a series of lifetimes. Some beings do this sequence, leave, and then return for new cycles).

Now in life it is actually counterproductive to edit frames too much. So take that in, and then let it go. I prefer organic metaphors. The raised road is winding through the garden of your life. All of you matters. All of you influences the material plane. Yet your relationship to it will heavily emphasize parts of yourself, and not others.

The joy of this, is that you plot out your plots, before birth. You prepare the beds, and then ‘lie’ in them during li(f)etimes where you forget the rest of your garden. You plant certain dreams. Now, this is the joy and the curse, of the Earth as you know it. You will not get entirely what you expect. You WILL be sure that when you are 35, you’ll arrive in a new setting, with people you love, playing roles that you speculate upon before birth. Yet the joy is to meet people that you deeply love, under a new context. They used to be shy, so they became a performer, and you’ve never known them in such a persona. You get to meet and fall in love with them in a whole new way. It is joyful, and extraordinary.

Now for the best part.

We are talking about your entire series of lifetimes on Earth in this incarnation – and here I suggest you trust some new definitions. Your soul comes to Earth, and births a Spirit. Your spirit transcends multiple lifetimes. It is important to learn to recognize aspects of you that are associated with this spirit – and your series of 28 lifetimes – and your soul – and your eternal self around this Sun.


Within this context you will be able to awaken. I am the voice that guides you through the transformation. I task, I ask you, to help me reach others so I can do my job with them. There are many spirits who are aware of the garden of your lives who already support you, all. They are not in human bodies. They are your angels and guides. I am a garden of the Earth. I coordinate these efforts. The entire human story shares great transitions. You have come to a gathering of the many roads you all share. A nexus of change that opens great new possibility. The rules are about to change. You are ready to awaken from sleep, many of you, together. I am here to gather those who will share great efforts in a future it is my joy to help you recognize.

Please help me.

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